A recent study by KFF reports that nearly 1 out of every 5 adolescents struggles with anxiety or depression. The data is no better for adults. Moreover, 55% of respondents said that they see youth mental health as a national crisis. In this context, how do we, as parents, raise healthy, resilient kids?
Certainly, there are many factors that weigh into one’s mental health, but we do know that some of those factors are environmental and behavioral, which means that there are ways in which we can tip the scales, even if we can’t control or guarantee the outcome. While there’s no panacea, there are principles we can apply in our parenting.
Tip #1: Support kids, but let them practice solving their own problems from an early age.
We all know that problems often get bigger as we get older. That’s why childhood and adolescence are such great training grounds for practice. Rather than jumping in and doing all the problem solving and executive processing for them, ask them questions, spur them on to articulate a plan, and talk it through with them through encouragement.
Tip #2: Encourage kids to do hard things.
We all hate to see our kids struggle, but sometimes that productive struggle is exactly what is most effective for growth. One of the most plastic parts of our brain is the mid-cingulate cortex, and it is exactly this area that is active when we choose to do something that we would rather not do. It’s where our will to persevere through hard things and continue giving effort is centered. Its high level of plasticity means that we can learn, over time, to be more resilient. In other words, we can help teach our kids that they can do hard things!
These steps will be hard, and they won’t like it, especially if they have already formed non-resilient habits. But the outcome of independent, resilient, and capable adults is worth it.
If you’d like to learn more, check out this article from Margarita Tartakovsky providing 10 Tips for Raising Resilient Kids.
